Graphic Design: Lomography Effect

Friday, October 24, 2008

This was the image before.

She's Camilla, one of the participants of Pinoy Cute Friendster. Comments are always welcome!If you want me to share the tutorial of this please reply to this post :) God bless



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Blogging is Fun!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hehehe, Yeah blogging is fun! On my first week, there's so many friends i've met. Many ideas loaded. And oh, did i reached the top? Hmmm not yet. Still I'm very willing to pursue this. I've so many blogs and sites ive made, many sites lost. Hehehe. And now i promise, this time this blog will be me. I mean, for life! n_n

Comments are welcome! n_n


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SEO: How to boost traffic on website

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Getting people to visit your Web site can often be a difficult task, especially if your Web site is small. There are several main things you need to consider, and things you need to do, if you are hoping to get some traffic to your Web site. These are not the only things you can do to get traffic to your Web site, but they are a good start.

  • Keywords - Decide what your page is going to be about and write the page around that keyword or keyword phrase. If your page is going to be about cat collars, then make sure you use the phrase "cat collars" several times while writing the page, especially in the first couple paragraphs.
  • Title & Meta Tags - When considering a title for your page make sure to use the keyword or key phrase of your page in the title. If you are using HTML, then you need to be concerned with meta tags. Make sure to use your keywords in the meta description several times, and the title tags at the top of your HTML at least twice, and put the keyword in the meta keyword area too. Cat Collars - Cat Collars for your Precious Kitty
  • Good Content - If your page is about something important, is written well, and includes the right keywords it will probably do well in the search engines. On top of search engines, other sites will also link to your page if it is well written.

  • Search Engines - Submit your pages to the most popular search engines. Go to each of the search engines and submit your pages to them individually. 
  • Similar Web Sites - Find Web sites that are similar to yours and offer to link to their site in exchange for a link back to your site. If they have a page for links they will probably do it.
  • Forums & Message Boards - Go to forums and message boards that are about your site and answer questions or offer advice or even ask questions. Create a signature under your name for your message posts that links back to your site. If people like what you wrote on the forum, they may click on your link and visit your site.
  • Update Regularly - If you don't add content to your site, then why should someone keep coming back. Update your site regularly with new content and watch your traffic grow.


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What is Emo?

The term "Emo" is used as counterculture; it is an abreviation of the word "emotional". Emo it's defining not only an attitude, but also a fashion that are coming from emocore (emo music). Emocore is a combination between hardcore and punk music which was very popular in Washington DC in the late 80's. The emo culture continued to develop between '90 and '00, reaching the height of its popularity today.

The Emo Fashion

By almost all current definitions, emo clothing is characterized by tight jeans on males and females alike, long fringe (bangs) often brushed to one side of the face, dyed black, straightened hair, tight t-shirts which often bear the names of rock bands, studded belts, belt buckles, Chuck Taylor All-Stars, skate shoes, or other black shoes (often old and beaten up) and thick, black horn-rimmed glasses.

Emo fashion has changed with time; early trends included haircuts similar to those worn by the Romulans and Vulcans in Star Trek, tightly fitting sweaters, button-down shirts, and work jackets (often called gas station jackets).

This goes for girls and also for boys!

Let your hair grow in the front and side parts so they cover your face. In the back you can let it short and spike it up with gel! Some do that, some don't! If you have short hair, the first months are going to be a pain, because you won't be able to make your hair look "emo". As it grows, comb it towards an eye in the direction that you want. After 3 or 4 months, when the fringe reaches 3/4 of the way down your forehead, go to a hair dresser that looks professional, and get it thinned out and have it trimmed so that it will grow in the right shape.

Either if you're a boy or girl, you'll need to straighten your hair, with either an iron or gel. If your hair is wavy, just use hairspray/gel to weigh it down. I suggest buying an hair straightening iron and use a a good moisturizing shampoo to prevent your hair from getting damaged. Tip: If you wash your hair too much, this can dry it out; that doesn't mean you don't have to wash it at all, bleah.

If you consider dyeing your hair, dye it black. The other colors are not so cool and you'll look like a clown, in my opinion.

After 3 or 4 months, your hair should look like you want. From that point, you should go to the hair stylist monthly for your hair to be thinned and stuff.


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Need money? View, click, and make money!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hi there peepz! Are you a die hard sufer? Love clicking and browsing? And are you in need of money?? Well well well, the you must read this post! You might be on excite right now ain't u?

On the website you'll receive a minimum of 30 ad links a day (its just a list of links), where one 30 second ad is worth 1 cent. I say 30 second ad because the ad must stay open for 30 seconds for it to be valid. I have seen days with up to 120 ads, but the average is around 50. I consider it 30 cents a day earned, if I clicked all the ads for that day. The regular member has 10 to 20 ads or more a day, but the average that I have experienced and am seeing from my referrals are around 15 ads viewed.

So you click an ad, wait for the page to load, then wait for the timer to countdown, and then see if you get a green check mark or a red cross mark. Green check mark means the ad you viewed validated and you earned your one cent. Wash rinse repeat ad nauseum. Now, every time one of your referrals, a person that signs up as your referral, clicks a link, you also receive one cent for his advertisement that he viewed.

Read more to register!!!

Click Here to Register and Earn Now!


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Remote Control PC with Hamachi

Hamachi is a centrally-managed zero-configuration virtual private network (VPN) freeware application capable of establishing direct links between computers that are behind NAT firewalls without requiring reconfiguration (in most cases); in other words, it establishes a connection over the Internet that very closely emulates the connection that would exist if the computers were connected over a local area network. Currently available as a production version for Microsoft Windows and, as beta, for Mac OS X and Linux.

How It Works

Hamachi is a centrally-managed VPN system, consisting of the server cluster managed by the vendor of the system and the client software, which is installed on end-user computers.

Client software adds a virtual network interface to a computer, and it is used for intercepting outbound as well as injecting inbound VPN traffic. Outbound traffic sent by the operating system to this interface is delivered to the client software, which encrypts and authenticates it and then sends it to the destination VPN peer over a specially initiated UDP connection. Hamachi currently handles tunneling of IP traffic including broadcasts and multicast. The Windows version also recognizes and tunnels IPX traffic.

Each client establishes and maintains a control connection to the server cluster. When the connection is established, the client goes through a login sequence, followed by the discovery process and state synchronization. The login step authenticates the client to the server and vice versa. The discovery is used to determine the topology of client's Internet connection, specifically to detect the presence of NAT and firewall devices on its route to the Internet. The synchronization step brings a client's view of its private networks in sync with other members of these networks.

When a member of a network goes online or offline, the server instructs other network peers to either establish or tear down tunnels to the former. When establishing tunnels between the peers, Hamachi uses a server-assisted NAT traversal technique, similar to UDP hole punching. Detailed information on how it works has not been made public. The vendor claims " successfully mediate P2P connections in roughly 95% of all cases ..." This process does not work on certain combinations of NAT devices, requiring the user to explicitly set up a port forward. Additionally 1.0 series of client software are capable of relaying traffic through vendor-maintained 'relay servers'.

In the event of unexpectedly losing a connection to the server, the client retains all its tunnels and starts actively checking their status. When the server unexpectedly loses client's connection, it informs client's peers about the fact and expects them to also start liveliness checks. This enables Hamachi tunnels to withstand transient network problems on the route between the client and the server as well as short periods of complete server unavailability.

Each Hamachi client is assigned an IP address from the address block. This address is assigned when the client logs into the system for the first time, and is henceforth associated with the client's public crypto key. As long as the client retains its key, it can log into the system and use this 5.x.x.x IP address.

The network is used to avoid collisions with private IP networks that might already be in use on the client side. Specifically -, and The address block is reserved by IANA and is not currently in use in the Internet routing domain, but this is not guaranteed to continue. The IANA free pool is expected to be exhausted by February 2011.[1] If this range is allocated, Hamachi users will not be able to connect to any Internet IP addresses within the range as long as the Hamachi client is running.

Additionally, using a /8 network prefix creates a single broadcast domain between all clients. This makes it possible to use LAN protocols that rely on IP broadcasts for discovery and announcement services over Hamachi networks. Hamachi is frequently used for gaming and remote administration. The vendor provides free basic service and extra features for a fee.


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Most Expensive Car of 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The EB 16.4. Veyron "Pur Sang" (Pure Blood), is a stripped back version of the Veyron. The carbon monocoque holds the engine plus the passenger cell, while the polished aluminium panelling is enhanced by reflections in the sculpted bodywork.Being limited to only five units, the cars will be presented with no paint whatsoever: just polished aluminum body and carbon fiber parts.


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The Bloggosphere

Hello to all my visitors! My site is open for link exchange partnership! If you have a blog, personal website, community forum, blah blah blah, then you're in! All you have to do is post a comment here that you're linking me so that i will link you back in my site as soon as possible.

Please do not forget to post your links inside your comment plus the description of the site you want me to link to. Posting a comment automatically subjected to my link exchange registration. I will review your site first. Unpleasant sites are not allowed! (porn sites, green ideas, or anything that could mislead the public especially the minors).

You'll be informed if your site was approved and linked!

And the sites on this bloggosphere are:

A Story of A Girl
☆ gLiTteR mInDeD ☆
A Woman On A Journey : MsRay
PinayKeyPoint : “A Glimpse to the Pearl”
Ria : Live Love Laugh
Mai : sharing my thoughts, my world... enjoying life!
I Feel Okay
Konten Hape
Private Territory
Visual Appeal
Imagination is more important than knowledge
Inspire Me
Jessie's bloggie
Blog to Learn
I am Neri
Symbian Library
Kathezai | The rocker girl
Only Bob's Opinion
Dhemcy Dias
Dias Family Spot
Simple Things Can't Be Ignored
Kryk Loves You
Louisa | A Drum Rocker Wannabe
Avengers Corner
Urban Ermitanyo
Thinks Free
We Can Do it
Nichola(s) Care
Mount Pinatubo Tour


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The Amazing Guitarist

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Comments are welcome! n_n


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The Art of Vector

Friday, October 10, 2008

Vectoring is not easy. It takes hours to complete a single work. You need to be very focused and comprehensive on what you're doing especially in color variations. Vectored images are composed of hundreds of layers. Each of it are of different parts and sections on your host image.

In my case, i only use the easy method. The number of layers on the image i'd attached are below 15. So, it will only take 2-5 hours of pointing dots, tracing here and pasting there.

For a sample, please click the image


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Historical RP Cyber Terrorism

In November 16, 2001, Saturday, a group of so-called "white hat" Filipino hackers called Asian Pride launched a series of attacks on several local websites. The hackers, who apparently are based outside the Philippines, claim they are out to teach Filipino local Internet service providers (ISPs) a lesson in Internet security.

Calling it "the 4 o Clock project," Asian Pride, which claims to be composed of Filipino freelance security enthusiasts, was allegedly able to intrude into the servers of local ISP Mosaic Communications Inc (MosCom), uploading executable programs that would eventually modify a website’s main page.

White hat hackers claim that they are not out to cause any damage, but only hack into systems to test vulnerabilities.

erry Liao, operations manager of local portal Brainshare Online at, claimed that they were among the first to report the incident to MosCom administrators on Saturday morning. A mirror of the defaced website is at

Apart from Brainshare Online, dcoder claimed that the group also defaced the website of broadcast giant ABS-CBN.

For his part, Liao said that they detected problems around 7:30 a.m. on Saturday.

According to Liao, Brainshare Online was restored around 7:45 a.m. that day, but at around 9 a.m. he received error messages, as the server could not be accessed.

In a separate interview, Robertson Chiang, vice president for technology of MosCom, said that the ISP decided to direct surfers to another server after getting reports of the hacking incident on Saturday.

"It was only an attack on one machine. It was an old one where we host a few dozen clients," Chiang said.

Asked how the hackers were able to get into the server, he said that considering it was an "old Unix machine," they were not able to patch security holes.
"It was partly our fault," he added.

Liao said that MosCom was able to restore "normal" operations between 6 to 7 p.m. on Saturday.

"The server was completely reformatted using a new system that already includes the security patches," Chiang said.

MosCom is now conducting an inventory of all its servers, to check if similar security problems exist in the "new" systems.

"It’s been a long time, I hope you can wake those arrogant administrators, specially those with PH-CERT (Philippine Computer Emergency Response Team). We tried to warn and help them on securing (local) websites, but they just laughed at us and ignored us," the hacker codenamed dcoder told via e-mail.

"So my fellow haxor keech of FDN [Filipino developers network] organized a Project called 4'Oclock, where we will be defacing all ph sites, to give this administrators a wake up call.
"Well I can't explain much right now, but if you read all the messages on the selected defacements, it might give you an idea on what we are fighting for," dcoder added.
In the mirror of the defaced Brainshare Online website, Asian Pride explained:
"The 4 o Clock project is a system composed of Filipino freelance security enthusiasts that aims to disseminate the importance of Information security here in the Philippines. This team has conducted a survey, scanning random (website) hosts and informing the people (Internet service provider administrators) about (problems). (We then) encourage them to fix their servers. We have no intention, however, of destroying, and/or hijacking information, ... We are not paid to do this."

Liao somehow agreed. He observed that while the hackers were able to "penetrate" MosCom’s servers, they did not delete or destroy any files.

The hackers uploaded programs (executable files) that will only run when a website administrator begins uploading the new main page (index) into the server. The program blocks anyone from uploading into the server, but prompts the user to download a new file, which includes a message explaining the purpose of the defacement.

Liao, however, said that the hackers also offered the option not to accept the new file. "It sort of gives you permission to delete the files," he added.

Asian Pride claimed that "more than 90 percent of (MosCom’s) servers can be exploited through common vulnerabilities, therefore jeopardizing the security of their clients as well as their office."

The group said that they have warned administrators of MosCom of vulnerabilities, "but were just subjected to insult, despite their professional approach."

"They scorned us with their witty remarks, bragging about their degrees, and that we knew less. So what did they accomplish? Absolutely nothing productive," the group added.
Local websites hit by hackers were hosted at the virtual server with the address at

The list of websites that the group claimed to have attacked on Saturday may be seen at and

"This ain’t no kiddy games, and were ain’t your average script kiddies. We broke into these sites not randomly, but we targeted specific sites, specially those sites that are 100% secure..." Asian Pride said.

The hackers are out to target other Philippine ISPs, and dcoder claimed that the next victim might be PhilOnline.

MosCom’s Chiang, however, insisted that these hackers are only script kiddies.
Other alleged members of the group include "sch1z0phr3n1c," "jollogs," "jayv[ee," "marcster," "batusai_slasher," and "keech."


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How to split your blogger posts

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Your blog's main page usually shows the entire content of each post. If your posts are usually more than 2 paragraphs, then your visitor will find it difficult to quickly find the topic of interest to him because he needs to scroll down a lot. This is where expandable post summaries helped in the old Blogger. This hack serves the same purpose for the new Blogger and more!

1. Login to your blogger account and access on the Layout tab and Edit HTML.

2. Insert below code before the </head>

<script type='text/javascript' src=
'' />

3. Find the includable called 'post' and copy/paste the changes highlighted in red in this page (Be very careful and avoid mistakes. Note that the word "uncustomized-post-template" may not appear in your template but that's fine.). To find the includable, you could search for the term id='post'. If you are not able to find it, you may not have expanded the template. Select the checkbox named "Expand Widget Templates", which is right above the template code, to expand it into more code.

4. Goto Settings->Formatting and at the bottom, you will find the text box provided to specify the "Post template". Copy/paste these lines into that text box and save the settings. (Please DON'T type these lines yourself because you might introduce some spaces that will break the functionality)

Type your summary here
<span id="fullpost">
Type rest of the post here

If you create a new post now, it shows you clearly where to type the summary and where to add the rest of the post. It is important to make sure that the /span tag above is at the end of the post. To ensure this, use Edit Html tab instead of Compose tab while typing the post. After typing, you can go to compose mode and change fonts/colors etc.


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Naked Hot Pinay Sex Scandal

Well oh well, you’ve just visited this post. First off, im gonna tell you that you’re on a wrong site and wrong bad time. This post has nothing to do with Naked Hot Pinay Sex Scandal! I am also joining the battle against the real porn sites promoting Pinay Scandal materials such as Pinay Sex Scandal Video, Pinay Sex Scandal DVD, and other related materials.

More on Sex, and Pinay Scandal related stories:

* Looking for Free Pinay Sex
* Pinay Sex Video (Vedio), An Experiment
* Sex with You
* Sex, Sexual Romance, Sexual Intercourse: Questions Answered
* S.E.X. - Lyfe Jennings

* Cool Sex Lamp
* Sex Freak
* No Blog No Sex Policy
* The Right Timing for Sex to Have Baby
* How To Enjoy Sex
* Looking for Wife
* Hentai Movie
* Hentai Download
* Hentai Popular
* Hentai New Release
* Naruto Hentai
* Naruto Hentai images
* Pinay Sex Video (Vedio), An Experiment
* Pinay Teen Sex Experiment On First Stage of Success
* Maasin City Scandal, Online Show
* Pinay Teens
* University Scandal
* Club Sex
* Boso
* Stripped
* Nip Slipped
* Dressing Room
* Pinay Scandal Experiment Success and Clarification
* How Important Are The Visits Made by Porn-Loving Guys To This Blog?
* Porn Traffic Is Now Dying

How will this help?

Simple, it will help take control the real porn sites offering to view to these Pinay Scandals by giving to Google and other search engines like Yahoo the most trafficked sites. =)


Philippine Literary Works: Tanging Pamana by Hilario L. Coronel

"Karunungan … tanging pamana ng magulang na sasandatahin ng anak sa pagtugpa sa dako pa roon ng buhay."

Kung may mga amang matatala sa kasaysayan dahil sa kahigpitan ng anak, si Tatang ay makakabilang marahil. Hindi naman malupit si Tatang. Sa kanya, basta tama ka’y tama ka, bagamat hindi ka niya pupurihin nang harapan. Ngunit kapag gumawa ka ng kaaliwaswasan ay humanda ka’t madudurog sa iyo ang lanubo ng bayabas.

Hindi mawawalan si Tatang ng lanubo ng bayabas na nakasuksok sa dingding. Lagi ring nakasabit sa isang pako sa dingding ang kanyang lumang sinturon. Bihirang mamalo si Tatang, ngunit pangingilagan mo naman ang kabihiraang iyon.

Kaipala’y dahil sa ako ang bunsong anak na lalaki kung kaya malimit na ako ang kasama ni Tatang kung umaahon siya sa bayan. Madalas ituro sa akin ni Tatang ang paaralang elementarya sa kabayanan.

Diyan ka mag-aaral anak, pagkatapos mo ng apat na grado sa ‘tin, — laging sinasabi ni Tatang.

Ngunit hindi ang sinasabi noon ni Tatang ang laman ng aking isipan. Ang ibig ko’y makahiwalay sa kanya at makasama sa maraming batang nagtakbu-takbo sa daan. Ang nasa gunita ko’y ang holen at buwal-preso na iniwan ko sa amin.

Wala akong hilig sa pag-aaral noon. Nakaiinip sa akin ang pag-upo sa desk sa loob ng iskuwelahan. Inaantok akong lagi sa pakikinig sa pagkukuwento ng aming maestra. Subalit hindi ko masasabi iyon kay Tatang. Tiyak na makakagalitan lamang niya ako.

Minsan ay napalaban ako ng babag sa iskuwelahan. Nang umuwi ako’y punit-punit ang aking damit. Nalaman pala agad iyon ni Tatang. Hindi pa ako nakakapanhik ay nakita ko na sa pinto si Tatang — naghihintay sa akin. Halos mangatog ako sa takot.

Nang mailapag ko ang aking mga libro sa papag ay narinig kong nagsalita si Tatang. Hindi natuloy ang tangka kong pagpanaog. Patag na patag ang boses ni Tatang.

–Dumapa ka!

Wala akong nagawa kundi umunat sa sahig. Ngunit nakataas ang aking ulo. T-tatang.. — parang pagtutul ko.

–Baba’ng ulo!

Pumikit na lamang ako matapos kong idikit ang aking mukha sa sahig.

–Di ba kabilin-bilinan ko’y huwag kang makikipagbabag?


Di ba kabilin-bilinan ko’y ang pag-aaral ang asikasuhin mo?


Uli-uli’y magtatanda ka!

Hindi na ako nakasagot sapagkat lumagapak na sa aking pigi ang sinturon ni Tatang. Kung mamalo si Tatang ay minsan lamang, hindi na inuulit sapagkat talagang hindi na kailangang ulitin. Halos mamilipit ako sa sakit. Subalit hindi man lamang ako nakaingit.

Ayaw na ayaw ni Tatang na kami’y iiyak dahil lamang sa pagkakapalo. Ang pag-iyak daw ay tanda ng kahinaan ng pusong-babae.

Ang ano mang pagkagalit ni Tatang ay madali niyang malilimot. Nang hapong iyong mapalo ako ay sa tabi ko siya nahiga sa pagtulog.

–Mag-aral kang mabuti, anak. Ayokong ang pinagdaanan ko’y manahin pa. Ikaw man lang e maiba sa mga kapatid mo. Ikaw man lang e me marating…

Ngunit hindi ko kayang unawain noon ang sinasabi ni Tatang. Ang nararamdaman ko’y hapdi ng aking pigi. Ang nasa dibdib ko’y ang pagtatampo at marahil ay sama ng loob kay Tatang dahil sa pagkakapalo sa akin.

–’yan lang ang tanging pamanang maiiwan ko sa ‘yo.

Lalong hindi ko nauunawaan ang pangungusap na iyon ni Tatang. Pumikit ako nang mariin, ngunit nanatili akong gising. Nagtulug-tulugan ako, at makaraan ang ilang sandali’y bumangon si Tatang at umalis sa aking tabi.

Kung ano ang higpit ni Tatang ay siya namang luwag ni Inang, bagamat kapag sinabi ni Tatang na ayaw niya ay walang masabi ang aking ina. Lahat kaming magkakapatid ay di makasuway kay Tatang. At kapag nagsasalita siya’y tahimik kaming lahat. Sa munting pagkakamali nami’y "sinasabon" kami at kapag kaaliwaswasan na nga ay lanubo ng bayabas o lumang sinturon ang sasayad sa aming pigi.

Subalit nagagawa rin ni Tatang na maging masaya kami. At matapos siyang "magsermon", ang pangangaral niya’y nauuwi sa pagpapatawa. Ako ang laging nakikita ni Tatang sa gayong pagkakataon.

–Suminga ka nga muna,– sasabihin ni Tatang sa akin, — tila me bara’ng ilong mo.

Hindi ako sasagot; ni hindi matatawa. Kung mangiti man ako’y pilit lamang. Sa loob-loob ko, lagi na lamang ako ang nakakagalitan. Sapagkat sa aming magkakapatid ay madalas na ako ang nakakatikim ng sinturon ni Tatang. At kahit nagpapatawa si Tatang, ang nagugunita ko’y ang matitinding palong tinanggap ko at kaipala’y tatanggapin pa.

Nang nasa haiskul na ako’y hindi na nagagamit sa akin ni Tatang ang lanubo ng bayabas at ang lumang sinturon. Subalit mahigpit pa rin siya, nakikita pa rin nyang lagi ang munting pagkakamali at pagkukulang ko, hindi ko pa rin masunod ang balang maibigan ko.

Isang kamag-aral na tagabayan a ng madalas kong ihatid sa pag-uwi. Yaon ang aking unang pag-ibig. Ngunit sa di ko malamang pangyayari, nabalitaan iyon ni Tatang.

–Huwag mo munang isipin ang pag-aasawa. Madaling humanap ng mapapangasawa…kapag tapos ka’y babae na ang hahabol sa’yo…

–Anong gagawin mo kung magkakaasawa ka?Labingwalong taon ka lang. Gusto mo bang matulad sa ibang kapatid mong nagsipag-asawa agad…na nakatayo pang tanim na palay e wala nang uhay?

Marami pang sinabi si Tatang ngunit ang huling pangungusap niya’y parang idinuldok sa aking mukha.

Batang-bata ka pa…

–Bata pa bang palagay n’yo sa kin?–Napalakas ang aking tinig.

Nabigla si Tatang. Ako ma’y nabigla rin sa pagkakasagot sa kanya. Inaasahan kong hahagilapin ni Tatang ang lumang sinturon o ang lanubo ng bayabas at ako’y bibirahan ng hagupit. Ngunit naglapat lamang ang mga labi ni Tatang. At pagkaraa’y nanaog siya.

Kinabukasan ay wala man lamang binanggit si Tatang ukol sa akin nang nag-aagahan na kami. Hindi ako makatingin kay Tatang.

Tuwing hapon, bago kumalat ang dilim, ay nasa amin na ako. Datapwa, isang araw ay napasama ako sa isang kaklasa sa pag-aaral ng sayaw. Malapit nang magdaos ng sayawan ang aming klase at ibig kong makadalo. Nang umuwi ako’y maghahating gabi na.

Dinatnan kong si Tatang na lamang ang gising sa amin. Nagmano akong kinakabahan. Ngunit hindi niya itinanong kung bakit ako ginabi sa pag-uwi. Hindi ko nakita ang dating anyo niya kung ako’y nakakagawa ng isang bagay na hindi nya naibigan.

–Kumain ka na ba?–Iyon lamang ang itinanong ni Tatang. Binantayan ako ni Tatang habang kumakain. At nang patayin niya ang gasera at mahiga siya ay nang nakahiga na ako.

Hindi ko na kinaringgan ng pangaral si Tatang buhat noon. Kung ginagabi ako sa pag-uwi’y wala siyang sinasabi. Kung nakagagawa ako ng mumunting pagkakamali na dating ikinagagalit niya ay hindi na nagsisiklab.

Nang muli kong marinig ang pangaral ni Tatang ay hindi ako nakagagawa ng ano mang pagkukulang o pagkakamaling sukat niyang ikagalit. Noo’y ibang-iba ang pagsasalita ni Tatang.

Tapos ka na ng haiskul, anak. Palagay ko’y me sapat ka nang lakas at puhunan upang ikaw na’ng magpatuloy sa ‘ming nasimulan na. Sikapin mong makakita ng trabaho sa Maynila…

Tumango lamang ako. Nakatitig ako sa mukha ni Tatang.

–Pero higit sa lahat, sikapin mong makapag-aral at makatapos. Wala kaming maipamamana sa’yo, –at nabasag ang datig patag at matigas na tinig ni Tatang.

Wala kaming maaangking sariling lupa kundi ang putik na dumikit sa sinelas.

…Ikaw man lang e maiba sa ‘yong mga kapatid.

Sa pagkakatitig ko noon kay Tatang nakita ang maraming taong pinagdaanan ng aking ama; marami nang salit na puti ang kanyang buhok, malalim ang gitla sa kanyang noo, at bahagya na siyang hukot.

Saka ko biglang nagunita ang taong nakaraan - kung papaano kami napalaki ni Tatang sa tulong ni Inang. Isang magsasaka si Tatang. Kung walang trabaho sa bukid ay lumuluwas siya ng Maynila at nakararating sa mga kanugnog bayan sa pag-aanluwagi. Nagtrabaho rin si Tatang sa patubig na itinayo sa aming lalawigan. Si Inang nama’y tumatanggap ng tahiin. Naging katulong siya ni Tatang sa lahat ng hirap sa pagpapalaki sa amin.

Kinasihan naman ako ng kapalaran sa Maynila. NAkakita ako ng trabaho at nakapag-aral sa gabi. Isinulat ko agad iyon sa aking ama at ina. Alam kong labis nilang ikagagalak ang balitang iyon. Sa aming nayon ay ako man ang isang anak e para matutong bumasa at sumulat lamang. Pagkatapos e kinakatulong na sa bukid, o sa pagtitinda at paglala ng sumbrero.

Nasaktan ang aking damdamin sa ipinagtapat na iyon ni Inang. At sa isipan ko’y nagtumining ang pasiyang magsikap sa pag-aaral at ipakilalang mayroon akong mararating.

Dumalang ang pagkikita namin ni Tatang at ni Inang. Nagsikap ako sa pag-aaral, ginawa kong araw ang gabi, hanggang makatapos ako ng karunungan sa pamamahayag at mapaugnay sa isang malaganap na lingguhan.

Nasa pasulatan ako isang araw nang tumanggap ako ng pabalita mula sa amin: malubha raw si Tatang.

Isang kamag-anak namin ang lumuwas at nagbalita: –Ipinagbilin ka ng Inang mo. Lagi kang hinahanap ng iyong ama!

Nabigla ako sa balitang iyon. Nagpaalam ako sa aming patnugot at ako’y karakang umuwi.

Dinatnan kong nakaratay si Tatang. Yayat na yayat siya. Dinapuan pala ng karamdaman si Tatang, ngunit hindi pa ganap na magaling ay nanaog at nagbunot ng damo sa aming bakuran. Nabinat si Tatang. Ayon sa manggagamot na tumingin ay ibigay raw kay Tatang ang anumang maibigan nya.

Nakapagsasalita pa nang malinaw si Tatang at malinaw pa rin ang kanyang paningin. Nakilala niya agad ako nang lumapit. Ang kauna-unahang nakapag-aral sa isang tanyag na unibersidad sa Maynila pagkaraan ng liberasyion.

Pagkaraan ng isang buwan ay umuwi ako sa amin. Tuwang-tuwa si Inang. Tatayo-uupo naman si Tatang at tingin nang tingin sa akin. Naroroon ang aking ibang mga kapatid na pawang may asawa na.

Nang gabing iyon, bago matulog ay kaharap ko si Tatang at si Inang ang salita ng salita. Pasingit-singit lamang si Tatang.

Tingnan mo, anak, maraming nakapupuri sa Tatang mo–ani ni Inang–katulad din daw natin silang `sang kahig`sang tuka e nakapagpapaaral pa kami ng anak sa Maynila.

–Hindi naman lahat, –lahok ni Tatang.

Napatingin ako kay Tatang at pagkaraa’y kay Inang.

–Oo nga, anak–amin ni Inang–Kung me nakapupuri man sa `min ng `yong ama e meron din namang kumukutya.

–Ano hong kumukutya?–Napakunot-noo ako.

–Napakalakas daw ng loob namin. Kinakaya raw namin ang hindi kaya.

Napakagat labi ako. Sa aming nayon at talagang gayon–kung may natutuwa man sa iyo’y hindi naman nawawalan ng nangingimbulo o naiinggit.

–Pero wag mo silang intindihin anak–patuloy ni Inang.–Alam mo naman dito sa `tin kung pinapag-aral.

–Anuman ang ipagkaloob ng Diyos, anak–simula ni Tatang, e hindi na `tong nag-aalala..Me maiiwan na `kong pamana sa`yo. Wala akong tanging maipagbibilin sa `yo kundi..papag-aralin mo ang `yong kapatid na ka na ng mapapangasawang..kung buhay man ako’y maipagmamalaki ko..

Ibig kong magsalita ngunit tuyong-tuyo ang aking lalamunan. Yaon ang kahulihulihang pangaral sa akin ni Tatang. Ibig kong maiyak. Subalit nagunita kong ayaw ni Tatang ng umiiyak. Tumalikod na lamang ako upang ikubli ko sa kanya ang luhang nangingilid sa aking mga mata.

Nang ganap kong maunawaan ang kahulugan ng lahat ng paghihigpit ni Tatang, ng kanyang mga pangaral, ng kanyang pagsisikap na makapag-aral ako ay noong umaga ng ikawalo ng Mayo. Apat na taon na ngayon ang nakakaraan.

Noon yumao si Tatang.

Napaiyak ako at nalaglag ang aking luha. Ngunit ang pag-iyak ko’y isang pagkaunawa sa tanging pamanang sinasabi ni Tatang. Ang tahimik kong pagluha, habang ipinapasok sa nitso ang bangkay ni Tatang ay isang pagkaunawa sa lahat ng paghihigpit ni Tatang na natutuhan kong paghimagsikan. Sa paghihigpit na yao’y naihanda ako ni Tatang sa pagharap sa buhay.

Yaon ang tanging pamanang naiwan ni Tatang sa akin…


Poem: Worthless...

A triple dose of metamphetamine
Another shot of morphine and heroin
When things couldn’t get even better
Let’s try another tranquilizer

These are what John takes everyday
Angels that make him A-okay
It started with his friends one time
Then it evolved to psychedelics
And he forgot to dine

Next thing you know he’s thin to the bone
For days hasn’t washed himself and sufferd depression
He lost his sanity because of that very reason
What will be his life’s destination?

Once that quite, happy, peaceful family
Now became worse than disorderly
That trusted and disciplined family member
Now a thrown-away, worthless drug abuser

Not only that you see
Juan has become a burden to the community
A wanted criminal, robber, and murderer
A wasted resource to his mother
What will be his life’s destination?
What good can he ever bring?
Will there be tomorrow still waiting?

by: Colegio San Agustin - Bacolod, Nursing 1F 1st Semester 2008,



Posted by Ven Francis

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